I scream. Stella smiles.

All right where to begin. I guess I can tell you the first story from last week where I was screaming near the verge of hysterics and my lil friend Stella just looked on and smiled.

It rained a WHOLE bunch last week. Apparently when that happens unwelcome animals float in your yard. Purse (our dog) is always outside since Stella has been born. She is a bit to hyper still for our little one. SO anyways, Purse was barking uncontrollably at the ground. Normally she focuses her barks on the sides or back of the house. I automatically thought oh no- we have a snake! I panicked. I did not know what to do or where to start. I just knew at this point I was going to be too late and Purse was going to get bitten by it. I quickly hit the window once telling Purse to come here, I put Stella in the exersaucer, then glanced out the window one more time on my way to the garage. That last glance... ugh! Purse at this point had bitten the object of her anger and picked it up with her mouth to show me. A rat. A bleeping rat. A mother bleeping rat. So my panic went it to hysterics. What in the hell was I suppose to do now?!

I went to the garage grabbed a huge shovel then went to the backyard. Purse had dropped the rat only after she ran around our yard in circles like she just won the Kentucky Derby. She dropped it in the middle of the yard and it was still alive just paralyzed. CRAP. Now I have to comurder this thing with my dog. I was screaming, pacing, screaming some more, and jumping up and down. I looked in the window and saw Stella there smiling and clapping. If she only knew this was not funny (to me at least!) I finally hit it once and ran away. I walked back and the thing was still breathing. I was seriously damn near a breakdown at this point. I looked at Stella- still smiling. Finally, after going through the whole routine of pacing, screaming, jumping up and down- I finally wacked it. And it was done. Almost. I then needed to pick it up with my shovel and throw it in the dumpster. It only took about 25 times for me to finally pick it up with the shovel and get it in the dumpster. By the time I walked around to the front of the house I had an audience. Where the hell were my neighbors when I needed them?!

I got back in the house and Stella was still smiling. I at this point was sweating uncontrollably due to the adrenaline and my breakdown. I am still traumatized by those events. Extremely TRAUMATIZED.

Next story- much shorter.

Stella and I woke up yesterday morning and started her bottle like we normally do. She of course, is by my side the entire time. Well I noticed while she was on the ground she grabbed a piece of cheese she had thrown off her high chair from her previous nights dinner (nice job sweeping D!) So I of course took it away and told her no. Well 2 seconds later I noticed she had grabbed something else. I thought it was another piece of cheese and I bent over to get it out of her hand and realized I just pulled a dead bug from it. I screamed. Stella smiled.

Good times!

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